A Girl Called Remus Lupin
by toyhto
Summary: One morning, Remus wakes up being a girl and Sirius finds out that he fancies his male theoretically best friend. Slash, sort of. Sirius/Remus.
1. Surprise

**A/N: **As you know, I don't own anything.

Some time ago I read a few stories in which Sirius turned into a girl, but I had difficulties trying to find same sort of stories about Remus. So I decided to write one. The rating might be a bit too high but I rated this M, just in case.

I'd be so happy to get some reviews! So if you're reading, please let me know what you think :)

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**Chapter 1: Surprise  
**  
Remus Lupin woke up with enormously strong feeling that something was wrong.

Well, there was nothing extraordinary about him feeling that something was wrong. Remus was quite used to feeling that way and it probably had something to do with the fact that he was fifteen years old werewolf studying how to fly by cleaning stuff and how to make a hedgehog turn into a carpet. Besides, he was living in the same dormitory with three boys who thought that there was hardly any difference between the purpose of life and making Severus Snape as miserable as possible. Remus didn't really have too good opportunities to feel normal.

But this morning he felt far more abnormal than he usually did, and that was _quite a lot_. He frowned, afraid to open his eyes, and tried to figure out what was wrong with him. That was a bad idea.

He felt his fingers. They were smaller than usually. He groped his arms and found out that they were a bit thicker than usually, and his skin seemed to be somewhat softer. His face seemed to be different, too, even though he couldn't exactly say what had changed. His jaw felt rounder and he was quite sure his hair hadn't been that long yesterday. He had considered himself to have quite short hair, maybe a bit over-grown but it hadn't surely fallen to his shoulders that happened to be quite round, by the way.

And then he lay his hands onto his chest and began screaming.

-----------------

Sirius woke up with a girl screaming as loud as Evans when James had hexed that pumpkin to chase after her and swear eternal love, and that meant _loud._ Sirius tried to escape the noise by putting his head under his pillow, but it didn't really help. Merlin, this was annoying. Why couldn't girls realize that morning was never proper time to scream their lungs out -

Wait a minute. _Girls? _He was quite sure that yesterday night hadn't involved anything that could have made him sleep anywhere else than in his own bed that happened to be located in Gryffindor tower, in boys' dormitory that, for instance, happened to belong to boys. He was also quite sure that James hadn't managed to seduce Lily despite hard trying. Why the heck was there a girl in his dormitory?

He put a pillow aside and glared at the room. James had apparently just got up and was standing next to his bed rubbing his eyes and looking like he was somewhere between awake and totally asleep. Peter was staring at something clearly shocked. Sirius blinked and followed Peter's gaze, and then his mouth fell open.

There _was _a girl. She was standing in front of the mirror, staring at it like she had never seen herself before. She had stopped screaming, and thanks to Merlin for that, but Sirius wasn't sure if the silence was going to last long. If they had any luck, the girl would pass out instead of screaming and they would all be saved.

'Pads?' James muttered. He was looking a bit more awake now and was staring at the girl, too. 'What have you done?'

'Why do you think I've done this?' Sirius asked.

Hearing their voices the girl turned around. Sirius frowned. She was wearing rather strange clothes, black pajama pants and a loose T-shirt. Besides, the clothes looked pretty familiar.

'What the hell has happened?' the girl asked, her voice cracking. She had quite a nice voice, in fact, but there was something familiar in it, too. 'Which of you did this?'

James blinked. 'Are you lost?'

'Who are you?' Peter asked in awe. Sirius threw a quick glance at him. The girl looked pretty nice, but this wasn't probably the right time to start trying to hit on her.

In fact, the girl really looked nice. Was she Gryffindor? Sirius was quite sure that he should have recognized her, but he couldn't.

'Are you serious?' the girl snapped at Peter, sounding quite terrified. 'You don't know me? So who the hell did this, if it wasn't you?'

'Did what?' James asked blankly. 'You look fine to me.'

'Fine?' the girl repeated disbelievingly. '_Fine?_ James Potter, if this seems fine to you, I'm gonna find whoever did this and let him alter you, too, and then we can kept on discussing if this is fine or not - '

'Hold on', Sirius interrupted her, when a thought occurred to his mind. 'What did you say about altering?'

'I'm Remus, you gits', the girl bursted. 'And if you don't see anything unfamiliar in me, you've been quite blind for five years.'

Sirius' mouth had fallen open for the second time at the same morning. He was rather sure that James and Peter looked exactly the same, but he couldn't get his eyes from the girl to check it.

The girl… _Remus_… was standing in the middle of the room, staring at them her quite pale arms crossed on her chest that happened to have a pair of very nice breasts on it. In fact, now that Sirius knew who the girl was, it began to look rather clear. The girl surely had Remus' eyes and face even though her jaw was a bit rounder and her features where a bit softer. She wasn't as skinny as real Remus was, she had nice hips and waist… and then there were _those_, of course.

'Stop staring at my…' Remus snapped and took a quick breath, 'my breasts. Can't you really explain this?'

'No', Sirius said when it had came clear that neither James or Peter could say a word at the moment. 'We haven't done anything. I don't even believe that we could do something like that, in fact… It's you who's good at Potions, really.'

Remus frowned. 'You think they made this with potion?'

Sirius shrugged. 'I don't know. But it has to be either a charm or potion. Or do you think there's a disease that turns you into a girl?'

'Do you think it's infectious?' Peter gasped.

Remus had gone all white. For a moment Sirius wondered if he had to help him… _her _to keep a balance, but it was Remus, after all. Remus wouldn't have wanted him to treat his like a girl, even though he was apparently one for now.

'I'm getting headache', Sirius muttered.

'I've got to… er… take a shower', James said rushing into the bathroom. Remus looked shocked.

'Are you sure you haven't eaten something strange lately?' Sirius barked. Remus had unfolded his arms and was staring at him quite helplessly. Sirius couldn't bare it. He had been brought to believe that a gentleman had to help a woman in every situation, or at least if the woman was a witch and not a Muggle. And now this girl was standing there, looking lost and scared and…

Remus shook fiercely. 'This can't be about food. We've eaten same food for five years and you haven't turned into a girl, right?'

'Maybe someone's has poisoned you', Peter suggested. He looked a bit nauseous. Sirius wondered if he looked same himself. There was something strange going on in his stomach, anyway.

'Who would like me to be a girl?' Remus barked.

'Well, you don't look exactly bad - '

'Peter!'

'Okay, okay. Just saying. Maybe you should go for Madam Pomfrey?'

Remus went white. 'And walk across the whole school to get there? When there're students in the corridors? I don't think so.'

'Well, what else can you do?' Peter asked. 'Stay here and hope you'll change back some day?'

'Nobody will recognize you', Sirius promised. 'I can come with you. If someone asks anything, we'll just say that you're my cousin.'

Remus rolled her eyes. 'And they'll run away screaming.'

'Okay, do you want to be my girlfriend, then?'

'No!' Remus snapped. 'Don't be ridiculous. We'll just go and if someone recognizes we, we'll run.'

'That's quite a poor plan, er, _Remus_', Peter said.

'You're supposed to look me into eyes', Remus remarked. 'Okay, let's go. I want to get changed back as soon as possible.'

'Are you sure?' asked James, who had apparently took his, er, shower, and was standing in the bathroom doorway. 'We could keep you as a girl for few days. You could think it as an experimentation - '

'No!' Remus and Sirius snapped at the same time.

James shrugged. 'That's a shame, really. Once we got a girl to ask questions - '

'I'm not a girl! I'm _Remus_!'

'What're you going to wear?' Peter asked. 'Your clothes seem a bit strange for a girl.'

'Fuck. James, where's your cloak?'

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Madame Pomfrey was staring at him quite intensively. He didn't know what she was looking for, but he really hoped that she would figure out an explanation. He didn't exactly enjoyed sitting on a bed with Pomfrey and Sirius both glaring at him like he had had two heads instead of breasts.

Finally Madam Pomfrey blinked and shrugged. 'Well, mr. Lupin, you're clearly a girl. I can't really say anything else. You don't have any visible injuries and there's nothing that would show this is due to a food poisoning.'

'This can't have happened by itself', Remus said, trying to stay calm as it was getting more and more difficult. 'There must be a reason!'

'I'm sure there is one, dear', Madam Pomfrey said. 'I just don't know what it is.'

'I can't stay like this!'

Thirty minutes later he was sitting in Headmaster's room listening how both Dumbledore and McGonagall were trying to explain him that there was nothing they could do. Sirius was still with him, but he was being more and more absent and it was difficult even catch his eyes, so that in the end Remus felt about as good as a mouse that has got stuck between the door and the doorway because of its tail. Not that he had ever gone through that particular experience.

'We'll do everything we can to find a solution', professor McGonagall promised seriously, but Remus was quite sure she was trying to keep herself from smiling. 'Until that, I guess you just have to manage somehow. You're a brave girl… excuse me, a boy… and I'm sure you've gone through much worse things than being a girl for a few days.'

'Days?' Remus heard himself saying. 'It will take _days_ to change me back? What I'm supposed to do until that?'

'Well', Dumbledore began and his calm voice made Remus feel slightly better, 'I suggest that you'll go back to your own dormitory and keep on studying exactly like you used to before this… accident happened. I know it can be a bit confusing, but I'm sure - ' he threw a quick glance at Sirius, ' - that your friends won't do or say anything inappropriate.'

'Yes, of course, no, sir', Sirius said quickly.

Remus frowned. He felt still shocked and helpless and it didn't help him at all that there was so clearly something additional on his chest.

'Well, you surely realize that it's best for you to go change your clothes and go for the breakfast', the Headmaster said kindly. 'And you should probably wear a skirt, mr. Lupin. It might feel a bit strange at first, but I'm sure it will help you to adapt yourself to your new… _temporary_ sex.'

'Er', said Remus, 'do I have to pretend that everything's normal? And how can I explain _this_?'

He didn't even know what he actually meant, saying _this_, but Sirius seemed to interpret it to mean his breasts, since he was glaring at them quite focused. He threw a quick glance at Sirius and the boy blushed.

'This is a school for wizards and witches', Dumbledore said. 'I'm sure a boy turning into a girl isn't the oddest thing that has happened here. Even though I'm quite sure it gets to the top three…'

'Albus', said professor McGonagall quite sharply, 'I'm rather sure my students need to go now. They've got a whole school day ahead them and they aren't even wearing their uniforms yet.'

'Of course, Minerva', Dumbledore said a bit absently. 'You may go. And, mr. Lupin, I hope that your… state will get better soon.'

'Me, too', Remus muttered, following Sirius to the corridor.

---------------------

'Thanks to Merlin, they have gone', Remus said when they entered the dormitory.

Sirius frowned. 'Why's that? They're probably just eating breakfast.'

Remus stopped to the middle of the room and Sirius couldn't help blinking. The blood was rushing through his veins and he really hoped he wasn't blushing. It was bad enough to find your almost best mate fit and good-looking, there was no way he was going to blush in front of Remus and those nice lips of his.

Of course, it was totally natural, Sirius tried to remind himself. He was a guy and at the moment Remus was a girl. Besides Remus was a really attractive girl with his light brown hair that fell barely to his pale, soft-looking shoulders, large, blue, quite perplexed and frightened eyes and very nice breasts that bounced every time he took a step. The white T-shirt he was wearing didn't help the situation at all, since Sirius could see his nipples easily through the shirt.

Yes, Sirius was reacting totally normally and there was nothing he could do about it. Besides trying not to show what he was thinking.

'What?' Remus asked, annoyed. 'You're staring at my… well. _Again._'

Sirius shook his head and tried to make himself grin. It wasn't that hard, in fact. 'Well, what did you expect? That you can turn into a girl just out of the blue and none of us will be a bit shocked? Or keen on your new parts?'

'I'm _a boy_', Remus gasped, beginning to sound a bit desperate. 'Please, Sirius! I'm haven't got used to my friends staring at my breasts!'

'You should wear a bra.'

'_What?_'

'Really', Sirius said trying firmly look at Remus' eyes and not other parts. 'You're… bouncing quite a lot. And you should probably change into that uniform McGonagall gave to you.'

Remus glared at him. 'Really? I should wear a skirt?'

'Well, if you don't want to keep hiding in our dormitory for Merlin knows how long…'

Remus went white. Sirius felt almost bad, but then he forgot it as Remus rose his hands to pull away his T-shirts and stopped suddenly blushing hard.

'What?' Sirius asked, even though he clearly knew _what_. He was quite certain that one particular part of him was doing very well at the moment, and he wondered if Remus could see it. Well, what else could you wait to happen when you're standing in front of a pretty girl and she begins to take her clothes off?

Remus choked. 'I should… er… I should probably go to the bathroom…'

'I've seen you change before', Sirius said. 'Just stay there. You know, if we keep on… being shy and all that… this won't work out. You being a girl, I mean. And I'm not nearly as bad as James or Peter.'

Remus didn't look like he believed him. 'Well, I'm gonna turn around, anyway.'

'Go ahead, then', Sirius said, only slightly disappointed. Remus surely had quite nice back and waist, too. It was a bit shame that he was usually a boy.

Remus bent down and opened a bag McGonagall had gave her… him. Sirius watched him picking clothes one by one and then stopping. When Remus stood up, he was holding black, decorated bra.

'Oh', Sirius said, when Remus turned to look at him apparently forgetting that he wasn't wearing a shirt anymore.

'Yeah', Remus said, looking panicked. 'Do they really think I know how to put this on?'

'Er', said Sirius.

'Do you? You surely know much more about these… things than me.'

'Er', Sirius repeated, blinking. 'You should… er, just put on them. And could you please do it already? I'm quite distracted here.'

He was quite sure that there was a flinch of laughter in Remus' eyes. 'I'm so sorry, Padfoot.'

Sirius shook his head. 'Well, it's not… that bad… just stop bouncing, please.'

'Bouncing?'

'Forget it. I guess I can… hook those things, if you just put them on.'

Remus obeyed. Sirius bit his lower lip and tried to keep his fingers from trembling. Oh, fuck, he was acting like Remus had really been a girl and he had fancied her! Well, it was probably due to the shock. A soon as Remus was probably clothed and Sirius had some time to think he would get his mind calm and then everything would go back to the normal. Besides Remus being a girl, of course.

'This feels weird', Remus said after a moment, already grabbing a white blouse and a skirt from the bag. 'I don't think I can stand this for more than a few days.'

'What?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Being a girl. Gosh, I could hit you!'

'Hit me?'

Well, Remus was beginning to look really irritated. 'You can't even form proper sentences. If you're always like that when you're around girls, I can't really blame them for mocking you.'

'Hey! Girls love me!'

'I don't', Remus said, grinning slightly. It looked quite wicked since he still seemed annoyed. Besides, he looked really fit with that skirt.

Sirius took a deep breath. Okay, his best friend, who was a male, happened to have a girl's body. He also happened to look good. He could cope on with that. There was no reason to dream of running away.

'Are you coming?' the brown-haired girl asked him.

Oh. Breakfast. Right. Good. That would help.


	2. A Few Inappropriate Propositions

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews! I guess the plot's quite weird, so I'm really happy to know that there're some people reading :)

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**2. A few inappropriate propositions**

Remus tried to get his coat better on him. It was November and the wind was freezing. He didn't even know why he had gone to watch James and Sirius' Quidditch practice. Turning into a girl had probably made him go nuts, too. He was already beginning to think that the idea had been the worst possible, since the wind was trying to lift his skirt all the time and he kept staring around to see if someone was glaring at him. He would have been so much happier sitting on his own bed, reading a book or trying to figure out, why the fuck this had happened to him and not to, let say Sirius or James, who would have almost deserved it.

He sighed. The whole day had been quite weird, and that was if he expressed it kindly. Every time someone had asked him who he was and, then, what the hell he was doing in a girl's body he had just told that there had been a little accident, and after few hours the whole school seemed to know that Remus Lupin was temporary being a girl. _Temporary._ Every time Remus got near to lose his nerves he closed his eyes and repeated the word in his mind.

At least he was apparently looking quite fit. He remembered wondering how it would feel to be good-looking, and now he probably did. At least he had thought all the day that he saw boys watching him when he passed them by. Or maybe it was all because Hogwarts rarely got new girls, especially new girls who were more than eleven years old. Remus sighed. Well, that was probably the reason for him getting all that attention.

Besides, he didn't want attention, or at least not because of he had suddenly got breasts. He would have wanted to lock himself to Gryffindor tower and stay there, if there hadn't been classes he couldn't miss. In fact, he might not have let even his friends come in. James was the only one who seemed to cope on with the situation quite well, and that was if you didn't count him talking to his chest instead of his eyes. Remus was beginning to think that there was no way he could blame Lily for turning James down.

Peter was doing quite well, though, or at least he didn't say anything too inappropriate or stared at his tits. The problem was that Peter hardly talked to him at all. Every time he went to them Peter began coughing and when he got over it, he wouldn't look Remus at all. And Sirius, well, Sirius was just weird. He kept on blushing near Remus and it was strange, because Sirius wasn't really the one to blush easily. Sirius probably just found the situation so odd.

'Hi, Lupin', called two years older Ravenclaw whose name Remus couldn't remember, when he was passing him by, walking towards the Quidditch patch. 'Do you enjoy yourself?'

Remus tried to glare at the boy as coldly as he could.

'You've got really nice legs, though', the boy said. 'Maybe you should try to make some… experiments.'

'Mauder, what the heck are you talking about?' It was Sirius. Remus whispered a quick thank to Merlin before turning to watch them. The Ravenclaw had shrugged but kept smirking. Sirius looked like he had wanted to hit him, even though Remus couldn't really figure out why. _He_ was angry for people staring at his legs. Sirius' legs were quite safe in his pants, really.

'Was he bothering you?' Sirius asked when he reached Remus.

Remus' eyebrows rose. 'Pads, I'm not a girl. Of course he was bothering me. It's not like I'd get offended because of anything.'

'Don't you?' Sirius asked but then inhaled deep. 'Well, why did you come? It's pretty cold. I thought you were in the tower.'

'No idea. I should probably have staid there, anyway.' A few Chasers of Gryffindor Quidditch team passed them by and Remus wished that his coat had covered his butt far better. He saw Sirius knuckles going whiter around the broom he was holding, but when he touched Sirius' arm to calm him down the boy flinched. Remus sighed and pulled his hand away.

'What're you doing here, miss?'

Remus turned to look at James, who was approaching them, flying. He landed beside them and got off from his broom. Remus was happy to find out that James was looking him in the eyes. Maybe the coat had something to do with it, too. Would it look too strange if he began to wear it all the time?

'You don't let me forget, then', he snapped at James.

'Could you?' James asked sincerely. 'Isn't it quite… unforgettable, having that body?'

Remus grimaced. 'Well, with all of you staring at me all the time, yeah.'

'But you'd still remember every time you said something', James argued. 'Don't get me wrong, your voice is quite nice. Not exactly like Lily's, but far more similar to her voice than that of Padfoot's or Wormtail's.'

'Well, I think I'd prefer living in a locked room without a mirror or anyone to talk with for a few days', Remus said.

James stared at him disbelievingly. 'Really? You'd lose all the fun.'

'Fun?' Remus repeated weakly.

'Yeah. How many of us ever get a change to know what it's like to be a girl? You'll have all the knowledge you've ever wanted!'

'James', Remus said slowly, 'I'm not a girl, I just happen to have a girl's body - '

'Well, I guess that gives you enough to do for a couple of days, anyway', James smirked. 'Don't you want to try snogging? Or shagging?'

Remus burst to couching. Sirius' mouth had fallen half open and he was looking shocked too.

'Prongs', Sirius protested surprisingly weakly, 'Moony can't possibly kiss _a boy…_'

'Well, he surely can't kiss a girl for now', James claimed. 'Or at least I don't know if he can find any girl to snog from Hogwarts. But he looks nice and he's got breasts and a butt and he's new, which is quite an advantage.'

'Stop right there', Remus said, finally able to stop coughing. 'I'm not going to hit on a boy, period.'

James shook his head. 'You're missing a great opportunity, lad… er, lass.'

'I'm a boy!' Remus burst out, but James and Sirius didn't even blink.

-----------------

Sirius was lying on his bed, watching Remus doing his homework. He was wearing a simple black T-shirt that was probably his own, but it looked much better on him now. His hair was falling to his face and once in a while he tried to catch straws behind his ears, but it didn't really work. His lips were pressed tightly together as he had been thinking hard.

'I figured it out!'

Sirius turned to look at the doorway. James had bursted in and was now almost bouncing on his bed, his messy black hair pointing into every possible direction. He was smiling like he had finally realized how he could get Lily Evans to fall in love with him -

Oh, shit. Oh, _shit._ There was no way.

'Well, what's that?' Remus asked absently. It was so weird, because the words and the tone were so like him but his voice was far too high and, well, girly even though it was quite husky for a girl. Sirius was quite certain that Remus' voice was quite close to the perfect female voice.

'You've got to find it out, Moony', James said.

Remus flinched and the absent expression vanished from his face. He blinked and then stared at James, looking almost shocked. '_What?_'

'You've got to find out how I can get Lily', James said and Sirius wanted to throw something hard at him. 'It's so clear, I don't know why I didn't realize it earlier. You're a girl so you must know what I'm doing wrong. You just have to tell me.'

'James, I'm not a - '

'Don't think about the mental side', he said. 'I tried to kiss her once, or twice, or about ten times, you remember? But once I actually managed to do it, and for some reason she just hit me. I want to do what I did wrong.'

Remus watched him blankly. He couldn't possibly agree with James, could he? At least Sirius knew that James' idea was just impossible. And why didn't Peter say anything? Why the hell did he just stare at that stupid book of his?

'And how do you think I can do it?' Remus said.

James didn't even blush. 'By kissing me, of course.'

There was a loud thump and Sirius found himself sitting on the floor. All the others were now staring at him, James looking annoyed probably because he had interrupted him, Peter rising one of his eyebrows and Remus looking actually worried.

'I'm fine', Sirius muttered. 'Just got surprised. Prongs, you're daft.'

'I agree', Remus claimed. 'Do you think I want to kiss boys just because I've got tits?'

'It's not about wanting, Moony', James said. 'Please. I need you to give me a piece of advice. My whole love life depends on you.'

Remus seemed nauseous. 'James, maybe you should just talk to her - '

'I've been trying! She keeps on hitting me!'

'Well, if you're staring at her tits as much as mine, I can't really blame her.'

'I'm sorry about that', James said, not sounding sorry at all. 'I just got surprised, you know, you've been always a boy and then you're suddenly a girl and you've got all those nice parts. I couldn't figure out how to react.'

Well, James was making a good point there, Sirius thought. But the actual idea about Remus kissing him was impossible, anyway.

'I could talk to Lily', Remus said carefully. 'Okay? Maybe she's more eager to talk to me when I'm a girl, too. Except that I'm not a girl for real.'

'Yeah', James nodded. 'You can always try. But you know, if it doesn't work out that way, we'll come back to the kissing issue.' He probably saw Remus' expression, because his voice got more polite. 'It's not like I _want _to kiss you, really, even though I'm sure it will be a pleasure, of course, you aren't ugly or anything… What I'm trying to say, well, is that I just can't keep living like this! Without knowing! I can't get sleep at night when I'm trying to figure out why she doesn't want me…'

'You must be snoring awake, then', Remus remarked.

'That's not the point. The point is that we've got our best and probably the only opportunity to understand girls and we can't waste it.'

Sirius took a deep breath. Well, James' talk _did _sound quite clever, except the part that involved Remus kissing him.

'Well, I'll talk to her', Remus said finally. 'And that's it. If she doesn't say anything that's useful to you, you'll forget the whole thing.'

'She's sitting in the common room right now', James said very innocently.

Remus sighed loudly and stood up. His breasts bounced a little and Sirius had to blink.

--------------------

'Lily?'

Lily turned to look at him, her expression first confused but then turning into a careful smile. 'Hi, Remus. Er, how are you?'

'I don't really know', Remus said, swearing that he would make James pay all this back to him some day. 'Quite… confused, I guess.'

'Well, I totally understand', Lily said kindly. 'Did you want to ask something?'

Remus blinked. 'What?'

'I mean, about being a girl… you looked so hesitating, and you must be wondering a lot of things right now.'

Remus blushed. 'Not really. I just… well, I just had to get away from our dormitory for a moment.'

Lily nodded. 'Yeah, I totally get it. I can believe that living in the same dorm with James Potter is sheer torture even if you're a boy, and when you're a girl…'

'I'm not a girl', Remus said, 'I'm a girl with a boy's mind, or a boy with a girl's body, or something like that.'

'Of course, Remus.'

Well, Lily didn't look like she was going to explain him why she wouldn't go out with James. Remus took a deep breath. He hadn't got a slightest intention to let James or any other boy kiss him, and he didn't care at all about the opportunities they might miss. Anyway, James had an incredible ability to be enormously persistent. It was probably best to try to do something.

'Well, in fact, I was wondering about… relationships', Remus said hoping that it was a normal way to start a conversation. 'Maybe it's because of hormones, you know.'

'Oh', Lily said, quite confused but the sound of her voice wasn't discouraging.

'For example, I was wondering why you don't like James', Remus said, staring at his hands that looked quite weird, and then his knees but they looked weird, too, and finally he just decided to look at Lily's face which fortunately hadn't changed. 'I mean, you don't have to tell if it's too private or something, but he's quite nice, you know.'

Lily frowned. 'I don't have any particular reason, Remus. I just think he's annoying.'

'But he's surely different if you're alone with him…'

'Well, there're plenty of boys who aren't annoying even when they're in company', Lily said, grinning at him. 'Now you can go and tell him that. And please, tell him also not to try to make you do all the work for me, because it's not working. No offense, Remus.'

Remus opened his mouth and tried to figure out something to say, but he couldn't find anything. Lily was apparently too clever to be fooled, and he had known it beforehand so that it wasn't even a surprise. However, he still had to find a way to show James that kissing Remus wouldn't help him to convince Lily.

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'Where's Prongs?' he asked, looking around the dormitory. It lacked James, and his hopes were beginning to get higher. If he didn't see James for a few hours, the boy would probably forget the whole thing and he would be free from any propositions to kiss his best friend. Except that James never forgot anything when it came to Lily.

But for now Remus was safe. Sirius was the only one in the room, sitting on his bed and staring at him. 'He and Peter went to Gideon's and Fabian's room. They wanted to talk about some prank, I guess.'

'Why didn't you go, then?' Remus said, passing the mirror as fast as he could.

'Didn't feel like going. What're you doing?'

Remus was standing in front of the wardrobe, trying fiercely to find his towel. 'I'm gonna take a shower.'

'It's not even eight yet.'

'Well, it's actually about privacy. I know that I can't keep on avoiding them, but I just… well, I thought it would be easier to go take a shower if they weren't here.'

'Oh', Sirius said. There was something strange in his voice, but Remus didn't want to began wondering it right now. 'Aren't you bothered because of me?'

Remus stopped for a moment and thought it. Well, in fact, he wasn't. During the day he had thought that James was the one who was the best coping on with the fact that Remus was being a girl now, but James' latest proposition made him still a bit nauseous so that James had surely lost his place. And since Peter was still acting just weirdly, Sirius was the only one left. Remus couldn't possibly try to keep away from all of his friends, especially when he hadn't got an idea when he would transform back.

Besides, there was something in Sirius that made Remus feel more comfortable around him than the others. He had been thinking about it before, but now it felt even clearer. He could stand Sirius staring at his butt far better than anyone else. Well, Sirius at least did it with his mouth shut.

'No', he said finally. Sirius looked a bit surprised and quite happy.

'Good.'

'Yeah.' Remus turned to open the bathroom door.

'Mind if I come, too?'

He froze. 'Sorry?'

'I could take a shower, too', Sirius said, his voice getting a bit apologizing. 'If you think it's weird, I'll pass, of course, but there's nothing wrong with it, you know. You're still a boy, even if you've got some extra parts.'

'Yes', Remus said slowly, trying to get his pulse calm down. 'You want to come to a shower with me?'

'Well, there's plenty of room for both us.' Sirius grinned at his very own way that made Remus feel slightly better. 'And besides, I've never been in a shower with a girl… not even with a fake one.'

Remus inhaled deep and turned to face him. 'What? You think I'm a fake?'

Sirius' eyebrows rose. 'Well, you can't surely be real, miss Lupin, or otherwise you wouldn't dare to waste an excellent opportunity to get to a shower with Sirius Black.'

Remus laughed. He wondered if it was the first time that day when he was genuinely amused. 'Okay, come along, then. But keep your hands away from my tits.'

Sirius jumped off his bed and started undressing. Remus swallowed and hesitated for a moment before pulling off his own shirt and trousers. Well, there was no reason for him to be shy. Sirius had seen him naked for plenty of times and this wasn't even his own body, to be accurate.

'What you're planning to do, if I can't?' Sirius teased him. 'What would you do, if I happened to try to seduce you?'

'Remind you that you aren't a poof and a straight man's not supposed to stroke a guy.'

'You don't look like a guy to me, miss.'

'Shut up', Remus said, leaving his clothes to his bed. 'Or I will tell Prongs you're trying to get those lessons he's so clearly hoping to get from me… _what_?'

Sirius had frowned, staring at him. Suddenly Remus wanted to grab anything to hide from Sirius' grey, intense eyes, but the glare made him froze. Sirius was lacking his clothes, too, and for a moment Remus wanted to burst into a laughter when he thought how it had seemed, if someone had happened to see them now: tall, handsome boy staring at a shivering girl that was clearly blushing, and both of them being naked. Well, fortunately the situation was awkward enough to prevent him from laughing.

Finally Sirius shook his head and turned his gaze elsewhere. 'Nothing. It's just… you look nice, Remus. Really.'

'I don't really don't know if I should take that as a compliment.'

'You look like you're cold, anyway', Sirius said, quite warm tone in his voice. Remus couldn't even decide if it was weird or not, he liked it anyway. Some part of him was enjoying the feeling that it was okay to let someone take care of him, like he hadn't been forced to cope on his own anymore. 'You really should go for a warm shower… are you okay?'

'Yes', Remus said, shrugging. He felt his hand going through his longish hair and tried to remember if he had tend to do it before. 'I just… nothing.'

'You're uncomfortable', Sirius said, sighing. 'I get it. Well, I'll go to the bathroom first, you can escape if you want. But I'll promise I won't be staring at your tits, anyway.'

'No, I'll come', Remus said immediately. 'And I guess I'd stare at them, too, if I were you.'

Sirius smirked at him.

The hot water made really good. Remus kept his eyes closed and tried to forget that he was standing quite near to naked Sirius, who was technically opposite sex and quite good-looking, no one could deny it.

'Don't you want to… explore?' Sirius asked suddenly, when Remus was almost ready.

'What?' he asked before realizing. '_Oh_.'

'Yeah. I mean, of course you can learn quite many things if you're seeing a girl and get to shag with her, but it's not the same thing, you know. I guess if I was a girl I'd like to find out a few things.'

Remus felt blushing. Fuck, it was going to turn into a habit.

'Well, I guess I haven't… gone that far yet.'

'If Dumbledore and Pomfrey don't find a cure, you'll have plenty of time', Sirius said cheerfully. 'If I was you, I'd think about shagging a guy. That's a once in a life time opportunity, you know.'

Remus choked. Okay, Sirius was now officially in the same list with James. Maybe he could avoid them both until he turned back.


	3. The Experimental Practice

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews! I can admit that I, too, was a bit doubtful about this story when I started writing it, and since it got stranger and stranger all the time I'm not exactly sure if I have forgotten to be doubtful yet :D But I'm happy that you are reading despite the weirdness :)

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**Chapter 3: The Experimental Practice**

Sirius tried to eat porridge and eggs but they kept on getting stuck in his throat or something else as annoying which made eating practically impossible. Next to him Remus tried to kill an innocent piece of bread with a fork. It didn't like she was going to eat, either… er, _he _was going to eat, or…

Oh, fuck. How was he supposed to call his friends _him_ if they looked exactly _her_? And, after all, it didn't matter that much, anyway. It wasn't like he was going to tell Remus face to face that he sometimes forgot she wasn't a girl for real. It was perfectly normal to be a bit attached to a beautiful girl, especially when the first thing he had seen in the morning had been that particular girl rushing to the bathroom wearing nothing but weird-looking boxers.

And then there had been the dream, of course. His stomach still felt sort of fuzzy.

'Padfoot?'

Sirius blinked. The blue-eyed girl was staring at him, her very remuish lips curving into a careful smile.

'Padfoot?' the girl repeated. Sirius tried to remind himself that this was Remus, his best friend, his best male friend, and nice female body was just how he looked, inside he was still the same Remus and Sirius didn't have dreams of shagging her… _him_ against the wardrobe.

'What?' he managed to ask, when James and Peter had begun staring at him, too.

'Could you pass the salt, please?' Remus the girl asked far too kindly.

Sirius obeyed trying to avoid eye contact. Unfortunately, to do so he didn't rise his gaze but lowered it, and it didn't really help.

'Pads? Are you alright?' Remus asked with her voice that was an appealing connection of Remus and a very attractive female.

'No', Sirius said quickly, 'er, I mean, yes. Yes. I just need to go… toilet… see you in the class.'

He was quite certain that he saw James rising his eyebrows, but he didn't really care at all.

-----------------

Minerva McGonagall was sorting out her papers, when Remus entered her office. She wasn't really surprised, even though the expression on Remus' face was quite different from his usually one. He was such a calm boy. Uncommon background as he had, few, well, _problems_, and still the boy was so kind and did very well at school. The professor sighed slightly. It was a shame that Remus should be the one to face this new issue.

'Professor?' the boy… well, the girl, to be accurate, asked her after stopping in front of her desk.

'What's this, Mr. Lupin?' McGonagall asked, trying to be kind even though it wasn't usually her first choice when he was choosing a tone when talking to students.

The girl was getting reddish on her cheeks. McGonagall smiled to herself. Remus was a very nice-looking girl, indeed.

'I was just wondering, if you had found a solution to my… problem', Remus asked, looking very hopeful.

McGonagall felt immediately sorry for her. 'I'm sorry, dear. It's quite a problem you've got here. I've never seen anything like this happening before, so figuring out why it happened might take a bit more time.'

Remus looked very disappointed. 'Okay. I was just thinking. This is quite… disturbing, really.'

McGonagall inhaled deeply and crossed her arms on her chest. 'And how's that, Mr. Lupin? Is there something you'd like to talk to me? Female issues, maybe?'

'No!' Remus said, blushing. 'I'm sure madam Pomfrey has educated me good enough. I'm just feeling… a bit uncomfortable.'

'And why's that? Many of us are girls for their whole life, Mr. Lupin, and it goes really well in the end.'

'You surely know I don't mean that, professor', Remus said quickly. 'I… I find it a bit hard to be around my friends now.'

McGonagall rose her eyebrows. 'Why? Are they harassing you?'

'No!' Remus said immediately. 'Or at least they don't do it on purpose. Or, they might, but it doesn't mean anything, or - '

'Enough, Remus', McGonagall interrupted her kindly but firmly. 'I think I got the idea. Do you want me to talk to them?'

Remus shook her head.

'Well', she sighed, 'I guess that you have to cope on, then. I'm sure both you and your friends find the situation a bit difficult, but you aren't children anymore, you're fifteen - ' _Oh, good Merlin, they're really fifteen, it's not a wonder if Remus wants to get a way from the dormitory full of boys… _' - and you are perfectly capable of solving even unusual problems. Maybe you should talk to them. Tell them that you don't like it, whatever it is that they are doing.'

Remus nodded.

'They surely don't, well, they aren't _touching_ you or anything, right?'

'No, professor', Remus said quickly. 'It's okay. I really didn't want to complain about it, I just want to… well, become myself again.'

'I'm sure you do, Remus', McGonagall said. 'I will do everything I can to make it happen as soon as possible. And I'm terribly sorry that I can't promise you anything.'

Remus nodded and backed away. Minerva McGonagall stayed staring at the door a few minutes after she had gone. Maybe she ought to keep an eye on Remus' friends, just in case.

-----------------------

'Where were you?'

Remus glanced at Sirius, who was cutting the ingredients for his potion looking quite concentrated. Or at least his face looked concentrated, but the knife he used was cutting sheer air. Remus decided not to mention about it. Sirius might have got confused and cut his own finger next.

'I went to see McGonagall', he answered the question.

'Did you?' Sirius asked, blinking. 'Why? We haven't done anything for almost two weeks.'

'I wanted to talk to her about my situation.'

'Really?' Sirius turned to stare at him. Remus fought an urge to save him from his knife. 'What did she say?'

'Nothing's happened. I'm still stuck on being a girl.'

'Well, it's not that terribly, is it?' Sirius said, beginning actually cut weed this time. They were supposed to be ready for now, but he looked so focused on his work that Remus didn't want to bother him. 'Or, I mean, you're pretty good at being a girl.'

'How's that?' Remus said.

'Dunno. But you aren't nearly as irritating as Evans.'

'Lily's really nice, you know', Remus objected. 'You just ought to talk to her.'

'Prongs would kill me', Sirius remarked cheerfully. 'Besides, I don't fancy her. Prongs would kill me for that, too.'

'Maybe you should find someone else, then', Remus said, a bit absently. Slughorn was already checking out Slytherins' potions, and Remus' wasn't even ready.

'Dunno.'

'Don't you have anyone in your mind?'

Sirius shrugged. 'You don't usually tend to talk about girls, Moony. Are you alright?'

'Maybe it's due to the hormones', Remus said, but Sirius just kept on staring at him seriously. 'Just kidding. You should be laughing now.'

'Oh. Sorry.'

Remus sighed. 'Okay, fine. We don't have to talk about girls if you don't want to.'

'No, it's not about that', Sirius said, throwing something green to his potion. It turned pink. Remus tried to see if the book said something about turning pink, but all he could see was the instructions telling how the potion was supposed to be black during the whole process. 'I just… I'd rather talk about girls with someone who didn't look like a girl.'

'Oh.' Remus didn't know if he was supposed to get confused or not. He did, anyway. It wasn't like he had been used to being called a girl. 'Shit. I can't still believe that I don't look like myself at the moment.'

'It's not a bad thing, you know.'

'What? You aren't fancying me normally?' Remus joked, waiting for Sirius to laugh but the boy remained silent. Well, something was clearly bugging him. 'It was a joke, too. Is there something else you'd like to tell me?'

Now Sirius looked almost frightened. Oh, shit. Maybe he had been disturbing first-grader Hufflepuffs again. A few months ago Sirius and James had made a potion - even though Remus didn't really understand how they could have managed to produce it - that had made every first-grader Hufflepuff see really kinky nightmares for a week.

'No. Of course not', Sirius denied.

'You're keeping something from me. Has it something to do with dreams, maybe?'

He was _sure_ that Sirius went white and it wasn't because of his potion was shining a bit weirdly. 'No! Why would you think something like that?'

'Well, I'm really glad it's not about that. It would have been far too frightening. You maybe liked to think about those dreams, but I don't agree at all. In fact, I think that was really weird for you to enjoy them.' Remus was already beginning to think that maybe they had finally managed to make Mr. Norris to turn into a dog, but then professor Slughorn came to see their potions and he had to stop. Well, if something was wrong with Sirius, Remus would find it out sooner or later.

----------------------  
_  
_How the hell did Remus know? Sirius hadn't said a word. Besides, there had been just one dream and it meant nothing, it was just a normal way to react to the fact that there was technically a girl sleeping in his dormitory at the moment. And when he had woke up far too early and went for a wank he had watched quite surely that everyone else had been sleeping. There was no way Remus could know that Sirius had been having that dream about her.

But why was Remus being so weird, then? He had tried to make him talk about girls when they had been making potions. Remus knew that Sirius didn't talk about his private things seriously when he was sober, so Remus had clearly had a reason to ask those questions. Had he been staring at her tits again? He had tried to avoid it, really. Fortunately he was sitting behind Remus in DADA and Remus had quite a nice back, too, so he hadn't had any withdrawal symptoms.

After the classes they had been playing Wizard Chess in the common room. Peter had beaten all of them like he always did and James had been in a bad mood because Lily had passed him by without bothering to glance at him (as if she ever did, but none of them was brave enough to remind James of that), so Sirius had been practically forced to entertain Remus who had been quite silent.

It had been nice, really, at least in the end. Sirius was beginning to think that there were many pros about Remus being a girl. It was a bit confusing that there was a girl hanging around in their dorm, but Sirius was beginning to get used to that, and even if Remus was a bit shy when she was undressing or something like that, well, it was quite appealing, really. And even though Remus looked exactly like a girl she didn't act like one, and it was a huge pro. Remus didn't claim she was fat or ugly nor did Sirius have to bear her bursting into tears for no reason at all, as real girls apparently did quite often.

They had been forced to leave the common room when the older students had come there. It had sucked, since Sirius really liked that red couch near the window, but he also understood why Remus didn't feel comfortable around them. Michael Adams had tried to peek under her skirt and the others had just been laughing and when Remus had tried to tell them to go to hell, they had just laughed more because she sounded so much like… well, a girl. So after Remus had sat five minutes staring at one particular spot on the floor and not saying a word, Sirius had said that they should probably go back to their dorm.

Now Remus was sitting safely on her own bed, reading a book that looked totally boring. She had crossed her legs and she was wearing one of her own T-shirts and no skirt. Sirius found it a bit hard not to look at her.

'What about Lily?' James said suddenly.

Sirius didn't react. Peter blinked, but Remus did nothing, either. It was quite a common habit amongst them. When James started talking about Lily, there was still a change that he might cut it off if no one answered him. It didn't usually work, but it was worth trying.

'Remus?' James asked quite persistently.

Remus sighed. 'What?'

'You were pretending to be asleep when I came back last night and now you've avoided me for the whole day. How did it go with Lily? Did you tell her that she has totally misunderstood me?'

'What part?' Sirius muttered. 'The _I love you_ or, how about, _I love you_?'

'She didn't say anything special', Remus said.

'What special? What did she say? Why didn't you make her say something?'

'I tried, okay?' Remus put her book to her lap and turned to look at James. 'She said that's she's not interested in you and it doesn't help that you make your friends to try to persuade her.'

'You _told_ her?'

'No. She guessed. She's smart, James.'

'Well, I know _that._ She's perfect, of course she's smart, too. What're you planning to do next?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?' James repeated, blinking.

Remus nodded.

'How about that kissing?'

Remus looked suddenly frightened. 'Which kissing?'

'You telling me what I'm doing wrong.'

Remus went white. 'James, you were joking about that. That was a joke. No one took it seriously. Just forget it.'

'No, I'm serious.'

Sirius threw a quick glance at Peter, who was sitting on his own bed staring at James and Remus one after another. He looked quite eager to know how things went. Well, Sirius probably looked quite like Peter. Of course, the idea of Remus kissing James was just daft, but he was a little curious, anyway. James was totally capable of being stubborn when he wanted to.

'No', Remus said.

'It's just a kiss', James said. He really sounded serious now. 'I need to know. You're one of my best mates, Remus. You're the only person who can tell me the absolute truth.'

'About what?' Remus was looking quite scared. For a moment Sirius wanted to take her away from that crazy James.

'About if I suck at kissing', James explained. 'This is important. If you don't do this and I don't ever get married, I'll blame you.'

'You wouldn't.'

'Moony,_ please_.'

Sirius flinched. James didn't use that particular word too often.

'Okay.'

'_What?'_ Well, that was Peter, but Sirius was thinking exactly the same and Peter had just been faster to express it aloud. Remus sighed deeply and put the book completely aside, facing James.

'What?' James asked, too, but in a completely different tone.

'I'm not doing this because I'd like to kiss you, jerk', Remus muttered, starting to look quite panicked. 'I'm doing this to shut you up.'

'Whatever', James said. 'Come here, then.'

'Wait!' Sirius heard himself shouting before he could think about it. Both James and Remus turned to glare at him, James irritated and Remus, er, he couldn't really interpret her expressions just now. 'Are you really going to do it? Are you _daft? _You're both boys!'

'I wouldn't call her a boy, Pads', James said, shrugging. 'At least not just now. And it's just a kiss, you know, nothing serious. It's not a big deal, really.'

'Yeah', Remus said, her nice, hoarse voice cracking a bit.

'That's just weird', Sirius said, not having time to think about the words when they already got out of his mouth. 'Maybe we should all kiss her, then. So that there's equal weirdness.'

Remus' mouth had fallen open.

'Er, I'll pass', Peter said. 'No offense, Remus.'

'Thanks, Peter', Remus said before turning back to glare at Sirius. 'What an earth are you thinking, Sirius? You aren't trying to hit on anyone, or at least you won't admit doing it, if you do!'

'So you're willing to kiss Prongs and not me?' Sirius asked. Oh, fuck. Someone should really have made him shut up before it was too late.

'It's not about that', Remus said her nice blue eyes wide open and brown hair quite messy around round face. 'I don't… well, okay. Whatever. I guess it doesn't matter if there's one or two of you.'

Sirius blinked. Remus shrugged and turned to James, who looked like he had been waiting for this since last Christmas.

'Well, I guess we can start, then', James said cheerily. 'Remus, come here.'

Remus looked extremely alarmed. 'James, you surely know I think this is a bad idea - '

'Oh, shut up', James said, pulling her closer. Sirius tried not to want to punch him.

And then James' mouth was touching Remus'. It happened so fast that Sirius could barely see it, and still it seemed to go on and on and James put his hands to Remus' hair and finally they broke apart and Remus was couching and looking quite nauseous, and Sirius relaxed.

'Well?' James said. 'Was I bad?'

'Er', Remus was still couching. 'I don't know. I don't really… you might have been a bit too eager, I guess. Really, you didn't have to try to suffocate me…'

'I didn't', James said, offended. 'And I don't think that will help me, anyway. Lily's surely much better at kissing than you're.'

'Why the heck did you make me do it, then?' Remus barked.

James shrugged. 'Now it's Padfoot's turn, anyway.'

Sirius felt his throat thicken. His veins seemed to be pushing forward tons of blood, but, well, it was just a natural reaction to Remus, who was a very nice-looking girl and was turning to stare at him, looking quite afraid and tense. Sirius would have wanted to sooth her, say to her that there was nothing to be afraid of, but of course he couldn't with James and Peter staring at them.

'I don't think this is a good idea', Remus said, her voice being really weak now.

'You've said that earlier', James remarked, 'and it didn't work then, either. Just do your job.'

'Er', Sirius said, feeling totally awkward, and still he couldn't take his eyes away from Remus. 'Could you come a bit closer, please?'

Remus stared at him, probably because he had just said 'please'.

'This is weird', Remus said, finally facing him.

Sirius nodded and pulled her closer.

Remus shut her eyes and inhaled deep, and… oh, well. Sirius heard James said something but couldn't really recognize the words. It was totally strange, kissing the girl who was supposed to be Remus Lupin and somehow _was_ Remus Lupin, there was something very much like Moony with the way she got tense at the same moment when his lips met hers. But besides being strange, it was amazing, and Sirius didn't want to stop.

Remus moved away first. Sirius took a deep breath and opened his eyes just to see Remus staring at him. He blinked. Remus didn't look so different anymore. Of course, he was a girl now, but besides that he looked exactly like he had always did. His eyes were the same color, his forehead was just similar to how it had been and his mouth curved into a bit frightened, weak smile in the same way as before.

And he was blushing hard. Sirius was quite sure he wasn't looking so calm himself, either.

'Sirius, you've got to tell me how you did that', James was saying but Sirius couldn't make himself to answer right now.

'I think I need to go to the bathroom', Remus said, almost running to the door.


	4. Dreams And Kisses

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm sorry it has taken so long to get the next chapter here. I'm finishing high school (or Finnish version of high school, to be accurate) this spring and there has been a lot of school happenings, exams and a cruise from Helsinki to Stockholm within a past two weeks.

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**Chapter 4: Dreams And Kisses**

'You didn't get angry, did you?' Sirius' voice was low and a bit hesitating. Remus kept on glaring at the ceiling and wondered how Peter was able to snore that loudly. Then Sirius' words finally got to his mind and he turned to face his friend, who was lying on the bed next to the window.

'Why?' he asked.

Even though the room was dark he could see that Sirius looked uncomfortable. 'Because of that kiss. You ran away immediately when we… finished.'

'Oh', Remus said, trying to collect the right words. 'I'm not angry.'

'You aren't looking at me in the eyes.'

Remus inhaled and stared at Sirius' eyes that seemed almost black in the dark. 'Is this better?'

'Slightly', Sirius said, grinning a bit but didn't still sound so cheerful. 'Listen, I'm sorry I asked you to do it. I don't even know why I did.'

'Because James did and you can't think with your own brain.'

Sirius snorted. 'I'm trying to be serious.'

'No need to. Really. I can get it. I look like a girl now and you've got to take what you can. I totally understand.'

'I didn't say that.'

'I'm not angry, Padfoot', Remus said. 'Just tired. Could you sleep, please?'

He heard Sirius sighing. 'Okay. Just don't… start avoiding me or anything.'

'It's a promise', Remus said.

When the silence had fallen to the dormitory he tried to listen if Sirius fell asleep, but after thirty minutes he was still breathing irregularly. Remus turned his back to him and tried to make himself sleep, but it didn't go so well, either. There were too many thoughts running through his head.

His head still felt fuzzy when he thought about the kiss. When James had kissed him… it hadn't been as bad as he had thought in advance. Surely James was too eager and the whole kiss had felt really strange and wrong, but afterwards Remus hadn't feel too embarrassed or wanted to die as soon as possible.

But Sirius kissing him was altogether different memory, probably because he had already survived one kiss and wasn't so afraid anymore. And Sirius was apparently better at kissing than James. Sirius had took it slowly and Remus had almost thought that maybe Sirius had been a bit scared, too.

'Was it bad?'

Remus blushed. Sirius wasn't supposed to ask that question at the same moment when he was thinking about the kiss. It just wasn't fair. 'You ought to be sleeping.'

'I can't. Was it bad? Is that why you ran away?'

'No', Remus said slowly. It hadn't been bad, not at all. Weird but never bad. In fact, he was quite certain that there had been a tiny little moment when he had actually _wanted _the kiss to go on.

'Oh', Sirius said, sounding quite happy. Well, of course he didn't want to be a bad kisser. No one did.

'How about me?' Remus said. He couldn't believe that he was actually asking it aloud. It had to have something to do with the fact that it was nearly midnight and he had had a long day being a girl.

'What about you?'

'Was I… er… bad? At it?'

He waited Sirius to burst into a laughter, but there was just a short moment of silence.

'No', Sirius said finally. 'Not at all. You were nice.'

'Nice?' Remus asked amazed.

'Really good, then', Sirius said, something restless in his voice.

'Oh.'

'You should sleep, Moony. A girl needs her sleep.'

Remus considered taking a pillow and aiming at Sirius' head, but he was too tired to do it. Besides, for some reason he felt happy, too.

--------------------

The girl had brown, almost golden hair that reached barely her white shoulders. Sirius ran his fingers over her thick body to touch her shoulder blades and then carefully let his fingers travel under her shirt. The girl made a surprised sound but kept smiling, even though it was a bit hard to concentrate on watching her face now when the girl had wrapped her arms around his shoulders and didn't say a word besides low whispering when Sirius pushed her to the red couch. The common room was surprisingly empty, but Sirius hadn't got a slightest intention to start wondering about it now.

They fell to the couch. Sirius tried to catch his breath when he felt the girl's body between the couch and his own chest. Their legs got wrapped together and then the girl's hand were trying to open his belt. Sirius kissed her and realized that she tasted sort of familiar, but he didn't have time to think about it, because his own hand had reached the girl's bra under her shirt. Pale skin felt so cold against his touch and the sense of it made him hot, and Sirius didn't hesitate a second before unhooking her bra.

The girl let a hoarse cry whisper from her mouth, when Sirius undressed her as gently as he could. Soon they were both naked, shivering and touching each other everywhere they could reach. The girl's hand were terribly soft and skilful and Sirius couldn't breathe anymore. He felt nails touching the skin of his back and didn't care, not now when the girl let him spread her legs. After few seconds he couldn't focus on anything else, besides the feeling that was burning him.

'Sirius?'

'Yes?' he asked, surprised to notice that he could still speak.

'Wake up.'

Sirius blinked. He was surely awake, there was no way he could be sleeping, not when the girl -

Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck. _He was lying on his own bed and blue-eyed girl was staring at him, looking quite confused and worried.

And as soon as he noticed that he also realized that he had to go for a wank. _Immediately_. The girl standing next to his bed wasn't exactly helping him to calm down.

'You looked restless, so I thought I should wake you up', Remus, that fucking fit girl, said, hesitating.

_Why didn't you let me sleep? _Sirius wanted to shout. _I was having the best fucking sex in my life. _'I've got to go to the bathroom', he said instead and avoided watching Remus into eyes, when he got up and rushed to the bathroom.

--------------------

'Well, is Lupin any good?' Gary Sanders asked.

Sirius blinked. The black-haired Ravenclaw stared at him smirking broadly. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

'Don't you even try', the other boy said, still smiling. 'You're sleeping in the same dormitory with a girl. It's not like you wouldn't get any advantages.'

'Fuck off', Sirius snapped. Fortunately Remus had decided to stay in the library when Sirius had left for Quidditch practise. He didn't know how Remus would have reacted if she had heard. 'Remus is a boy.'

'Doesn't look like one.'

Sirius took a deep breath and decided not to punch Sanders. Remus would just get angry if he did it, and Sanders would claim that he was overreacting. 'Well, if you're so easily fooled by tits, I can't help you.'

Sanders looked genuinely disappointed. 'What're you doing, then? With she hanging around there?'

'Nothing.'

'Are you gay or something?'

'No', Sirius snapped, rolling his eyes. Sanders was probably just crazy. 'I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not interested in boys even though they had a girl's body for a few days.'

Sanders frowned. 'For a few days? How do you know? She could be like that for the rest of the year.'

_Merlin, no_, Sirius thought fiercely, even though the idea was sort of nice. 'Do you honestly think that Dumbledore won't find a way to change her back?'

Sanders shrugged. 'If he does, it's a shame, really. She's surely hot. Well, if neither of you is shagging her, you surely won't mind if Bilson tries?'

'_What?_'

Sanders rolled his eyes. 'Don't be stupid, Black. She's fifteen, she's a girl and she's new, and there's nothing wrong about how she looks like. Did you seriously think no one would try to hit on her? I guess everyone just thought you and Potter and Pettigrew had her already, but since you apparently don't, I suppose she's free.'

This had to be a nightmare. Sanders couldn't possibly be serious. 'You're daft. Totally daft.'

'Well, if you don't see tits when they're right in front of you, that's your problem', Sanders said cheerily. 'What're you going to do with that broom, anyway?'

Sirius glanced at the broom he was holding. Fuck. Prewett would kill him if he was late from the practice.

'You can't touch her… him', he said firmly, trying to look as angry and threatening as he could. Sanders didn't look even slightly terrified. 'I have to go now. And keep your dirty hands away from her.'

'Are you sure that you aren't jealous, Black?' Sanders asked genuinely.

Sirius felt something warm on his hand. Sanders shouted something at him but he didn't really have time to listen the boy. He was totally busy with cleaning his hand from the blood that had escaped the other boy's nose and trying to figure out what he would tell McGonagall to explain why he had punched Sanders.

--------------------

Remus closed the book and put it aside. Sirius had left almost two hours ago and even though he had spent the whole time reading, he hadn't found anything that had been useful to him. He had found a few books that had mentioned boys turning into girls, but when he had watched them more carefully, they had been about Polyjuice and how to make it. Remus didn't know anything more than he had in the beginning, and it wasn't much.

He watched his small fingers drumming against the table and sighed. Well, Dumbledore would probably find a way to change him back soon. He just had to be patient.

'Remus? Oh, you're still here!'

Remus flinched when Sirius suddenly sat down next to him. He looked like he had run all the way from the Quidditch patch to the library, and was there a hint of blood on his hand?

'Did you come straight from the practice?' Remus asked.

'Yeah', Sirius said, looking like he could pass out from sheer exhaustion.

'Why? You hate library. And why is there blood on your hand?'

To his surprise, Sirius blushed slightly. 'I got annoyed. Remus, is someone bothering you?'

'No', Remus said slowly, trying to figure out what was going on in Sirius' head. 'If you don't count yourself in, of course.'

Sirius stared at him blankly.

'It was a joke.'

'Oh.' Sirius' laughter was, well, weird. Tense and weird. 'I mean, anyone hasn't been hitting on you? Making propositions or something?'

'Well, the only real proposition I've got was James asking me to kiss him, so…'

'This is serious, Moony', Sirius interrupted him. He had leaned across the table to face him. 'James doesn't count. I mean, is there someone trying to seduce you, for real? Like Sanders or Bilson?'

Remus frowned. 'Gary Sanders or Keith Bilson? I never heard they were gays.'

'You aren't technically a boy, Moony.'

'Oh.' Remus blushed. Sirius was glaring at him far too intensively now. Had he done something stupid? 'They haven't been talking to me, I swear. And I wouldn't, er, kiss them, even if they did, and you know that, Pads.'

'You kissed me and James.'

'Yes, for educational purposes, and because you are annoying, stubborn gits and I have to sleep with you, anyway.'

Sirius rolled his eyes looking somewhat desperate and then said so fast and quietly that Remus didn't almost caught it: 'I can't do this.'

And then Sirius leant forward and grabbed his cheeks, pushing their mouths together. Remus closed his eyes and for a moment considered hitting Sirius, but of course he couldn't. Well, he couldn't breathe, either. He didn't know what the fuck was going on with Sirius, but the boy should have his head examined, anyway.

However, Remus didn't move away. Sirius' mouth was firmly pressed against his' and he didn't know if he had been able to broke away even if he had tried, and he didn't. For some reason, he didn't want to hurt Sirius, not especially when he didn't know if the boy was alright at the moment. He might have been ill or something.

Suddenly Sirius broke apart from him. Their foreheads touched each other and Remus heard Sirius trying to catch his breath. Well, he was probably doing that himself, too. He opened his eyes and flinched seeing Sirius' eyes just a few inches away from his'.

'Sorry', Sirius muttered, still breathing hard. 'I'm sorry.'

Remus opened his mouth but couldn't really find words to answer, and then Sirius' mouth covered his' again. He sighed mentally and closed his eyes and wondered why he wasn't more annoyed. He could have pushed Sirius away, but he wasn't even angry.

And then Sirius' mouth was opened. Remus' mind went blank.

He had kissed people before, at least a few times, but this was nothing like it. Sirius wasn't kissing like a girl, but for some reason Remus almost liked it. Maybe his mind was getting more girlish, too. Or maybe he felt so good because he just liked the way Sirius kissed him, roughly and firmly and quite fiercely. Sirius' fingers were groping his neck and hair and that was fine, too, Sirius' fingertips felt sort of familiar and still new and, oh, Merlin, Remus _liked_ this.

He was out of breath when Sirius pushed his face a few inches away and leaned his forehead against his'.

'In the library', he heard Sirius muttering when he couldn't yet talk himself. 'In the _library_. I can't believe.'

'What?' he asked, annoyed because his girlish voice was so weak.

'Nothing', Sirius said, looking at him now. 'Oh. Moony, I'm sorry.'

'You aren't', Remus said.

Sirius blinked. 'Well, I'm sorry if you're sorry.'

Remus tried to caught his thoughts, but there was nothing clear going on with his head. 'I'm not… maybe… might… ought to be…'

Sirius turned to watch around them. Remus followed his gaze. Well, thanks to Merlin there was no one around. He was blushing hard enough already, he didn't need any witnesses to him kissing his best male friend.

'Do you think it's weird?' Sirius hissed. 'Really?'

Remus stared at him. He couldn't find anything proper to say. Well, he had apparently liked kissing Sirius, and they were both boys but he happened to be a girl for now, and maybe this was just something which came with the girl body… 'I don't know. Well, I'm being a girl now, right? This could be worse.'

'Yeah', Sirius agreed immediately. 'It could be much worse. And stranger. I guess it would be stranger if I didn't fancy you at all, though. Think about it. You're one of my best friends, so you have to have a marvelous personality, and now you happen to be a very good-looking girl, too. I don't know what would be more normal than fancying you.'

Remus could have figured out many things but didn't bother to say them aloud. 'Am I good-looking? Really?'

'I guess that has been made quite clear', Sirius grinned.

'Not really. You've been just joking.'

Sirius sighed. 'And you're just trying to make me praise you. You're far too clever, Moony. Yes, you look good. You're very beautiful. I have had already two dreams about you.'

Remus couched. 'What?'

Sirius has blushed hard. 'Fuck. It slipped. Well, I… they were just dreams, really. Nothing abnormal.'

'I'm not blaming you', Remus said quickly, 'or, er, maybe I am, a little. Or I'm just confused.'

'What were you expecting, anyway?' Sirius' eyebrows rose. 'There's a hot girl sleeping in my room. What am I supposed to do? Dream about puppies? Did I already tell you that Sanders asked me if you are any good?'

Remus blinked. 'What? Am I any good at what?'

Sirius sighed loudly.

'_Oh_.'

'Yeah. He was shocked when he heard that none of us is sleeping with you.'

'And now you're trying to prove him wrong.'

Sirius looked terrified. 'No! Absolutely no! I'm not trying to prove Gary Sanders anything!'

'Why did you kiss me, then?'

He heard Sirius gasp. The boy had turned to stare at the bookshelf next to them, and there was a long silence before he said: 'I'm not sure.'

'Do you want some more education?' Remus asked, wanting to hit himself from sounding so angry or mean or… maybe… hurt but he couldn't help it. 'I'm gonna be no use on it, really. Maybe you should ask James.'

'Moony, I'm not - '

'Or maybe you just wanted to see if I'm really a girl?' Remus asked. 'Well, apparently I am, since I could kiss you without wanting to puke. Are you happy now?'

'Remus!'

'I should probably go - '

Sirius had grabbed his arm and he couldn't get anywhere, so he had to sit back down and face the boy staring at him, restless look staying in his eyes.

'I don't know, okay?' Sirius bursted out. 'I don't fucking know. I just wanted to.'

'And what am I supposed to do? Play along?'

'I'm not _playing_!'

'Yes, you are', Remus said, feeling suddenly awfully tired. 'Fuck off, Sirius. Go get a girl, if you are that desperate. A _real_ girl.

He stood up and left, and this time Sirius didn't even try to stop him. Closing the library door quite loudly after him Remus wondered why he had left, but couldn't find a proper reason. He just had to. He couldn't see Sirius just now, not when the boy was just messing with his head and he was having a nice pair of breasts which seemed to be melting his own brain, because he had just kissed his best friend and liked it.

He walked straight through the castle and out of the main door. It was snowing out there and he knew he would be cold in a minute, but he couldn't stop himself from walking. He just needed time to think. That was it. A few hours to think about everything with no one messing with his head and everything would go back to normal. Or at least almost everything, he added realizing once again when he burst into running and found out that there was something in him that was bouncing very disturbingly.


End file.
